Do you watch The Mentalist?
I’ve been DVRing The Mentalist since it’s first debut. And I have been desperately trying to figure out who in the world is Red John! And every time I think I have the mystery solved, the character I think is Red John gets killed. Go figure.
But that’s not really what this post is all about. True, it’s about Red John, but it’s really about a confession I have to make.
It’s like this: My sugar cookies never turn out right. What does sugar cookies have to do with Red John? Just keep reading. And every year as the Christmas season approaches, I tell myself that I’m going to try again. I mean, let’s face it. I’m a seasoned cook! I’m a baker. I bake a lot. So when the Christmas season rolls around, I try a new “guaranteed to be easy and simple” sugar cookie recipe. Don’t get me wrong, they taste great. I mix them up and let them rest in the fridge just like the recipe calls for. I roll them and cut them and they look so pretty before they enter the oven.
I have a cookie cutter collection for practically any holiday you can name, including baby hand prints and foot prints. And at Christmas I cut out cute little prancing reindeer, heavenly angels, gingerbread boys and girls with one whimsical bite taken out of them, jingle bells and candy canes. I gingerly place them in the oven and dare myself not to take a peek. When the timer dings, I open the oven door and all of my cute little cutouts look the same – one round blob!
Where are my heavenly angels and prancing reindeer? Where is my jolly old St. Nick and my Christmas tree? They all look the same! How can it be?
And I ask myself: “What am I doing wrong?” (Please feel free to leave a helpful tip) Am I rolling them to thin? Should I pray and fast before my baking marathon? And I answer myself: “Well, if I knew, I wouldn’t be asking myself.”
After another failed attempt in 2011 – yes, I do keep up with my sugar cookie failures – I came up with an idea. Since it’s obvious that the sugar cookies are never going to come out of the oven looking like they did when they went in, I changed my approach. I decided to just make Red John sugar cookies.
Did I mention that I’m not much of a cookie decorator, either? I think it’s because it takes time and involves patience and talent. Ain’t nobody got time for that!
My grown-up offspring loved them, knew immediately what they were and thought I was hip and cool. When the grands came over, they didn’t understand the cookies at all. They, of course, are way too young to watch The Mentalist. I’m sure they were expecting cut out sugar cookies that resembled the cover of all the magazines lining the check-out stand in the grocery stores. Once they got over the initial shock of these cookies, they tore into them. In the end, that’s all that matters, I guess.
Meanwhile, I’m hot on the trail of the latest, greatest cut-out sugar cookie recipe that promises me success! Maybe it’s my year to conquer the sugar cookie once and for all! I’ll keep you posted! If I fail again this year, Red John will be returning to my house this Christmas.
Do you really think they finally caught Red John? Never mind, don’t tell me. I’m behind an episode and need to catch up. :)
What is that one food item that you just can’t get right? Come on, I can’t be the only one out there!