For years it’s been all the rage to know the sex of your baby before he/she is born. Â Seems lately, though, that the pendulum is swinging the other way – to not know and be totally surprised, shocked or whatever.
My childbearing years occurred during the swing from not knowing (we didn’t have a choice) to being able to find out the, somewhat iffy (they didn’t really guarantee anything back in the dark ages), Â sex of my youngest child. Â My ultrasounds were recorded on VHS tapes, OK? :). Â I made the decision to not know the gender of my unborn child.
Why? Â I love surprises! Â I just do.
To Know or Not to Know – Baby GenderÂ
My pregnancy with my youngest child was, well, complicated. Â Entering into the last trimester, I began to swell like there was no tomorrow. Â I had to swap my size 7-1/2-8 shoes for my friend’s 10’s! Â It wasn’t pretty and at first I blamed it on the hot, humid, southern summer and my insatiable appetite.
I was finally admitted to the hospital and an amniocentesis was done to see if the baby’s lungs were developed enough to go ahead and get that child out of me. Â They weren’t.
Before having the amniocentesis, my obstetrician told me that the procedure would also reveal the definite sex of the child and asked again if I wanted to know. Â I stuck to my guns and my answer was an astounding, “No!”
During the procedure, the tech person asked again if I wanted to know. Â I said, “No, thanks” about the same time my husband said, “Yes.” Â What??? Â At the conclusion, the tech and my husband walked out of the door and into the hallway and the hubs found out the sex of our unborn child with a solemn promise that he couldn’t tell me because I didn’t want to know.
I stuck to my guns . . . most of the time. Â Sometimes, late at night while lying in bed I would have a change of heart and beg/plead my husband to give me a hint. Â His lips were sealed. Â At other times, I would call him around lunch time at work and demand to know. Â He never once broke his promise to amnio guy.
On the day of my scheduled C-Section, as I bid my mom and kids goodbye, the hubs whispered to my mom that there was no need to have all of those cute little newborn boy things ready for baby’s arrival.
A few days after my baby girl was born, I had seizures for the first time (and only time) in my life and woke up in ICU. Â The diagnosis was eclampsia. It must have been bad, because when I awakened in ICU, my brother was sitting beside my bed crying. Â He never cries. Â Thanks, Tim.
Obviously, I survived.  Now Gloria Gaynor is in my head singing I will Survive. At first I was afraid, I was petrified . . . I have a song for everything!
Times sure have changed since 1988! Â There are now drugstore gender prediction kits that I hear are somewhat unpredictable.
Did you find out the sex of your child before he/she was born? Â Why or why not? Â I want deets. Â I want the story. Â I want it all.
58 comments
I had my first little one in October. I was really torn on whether I wanted to find out or not. On one hand, I wanted to be able to prepare everything and plan ahead but on the other hand, I kind of wanted that element of surprise. My husband was dead set on knowing though. We went ahead and found out beforehand. I don’t regret that. We were able to settle on a name and start calling him that and it felt right. I’m not sure if I’ll find out next time or not. We’ll see 🙂
I forgot to mention that I knew in my heart that my last child was a girl and I called her by the girl name we had chosen the entire time.
Baby stories are always fun to read! I’m obviously an ancient person because the option to learn the sex wasn’t available when my first child was born so we didn’t know until she arrived. We didn’t even have a girl name picked out because we were convinced it was a boy!
Eight years later when my baby girl was born, we knew because the option was available. I did want to know. We don’t have any family members who didn’t find out first. Apparently none of us really want to wait!
My daughter knew before her 4 boys were born, too. It wasn’t an option for any of mine except the last one and I went back and forth, but decided to go with the not knowing. I’ve noticed a trend lately of the younger, first time moms not wanting to know. Maybe the trend is moving back the other way. 🙂
Love this! I have definitely seen a shift back to people not wanting to know, which I think is awesome! Sometimes too much knowledge is no good, haha. I don’t want to know the sex of our first baby, though that is years away! I think it’s fun not to know and we already have a name for a girl and boy that have the same initials so we don’t have to worry about people fussing over not being able to buy anything monogrammed! I think for the first, it’s easiest to not know so we’ll try it 🙂
If I had to do it over again today, I really don’t know which way I would go, but I do love an element of surprise. And don’t get me started on the 3D/4D ultrasounds that my daughter had, even though I think some of those pics look like aliens. 🙂
I had my 4 kids during when everyone was finding out the gender, but I didn’t want to find out until they were born. I loved the anticipation and the surprise. My first 3 were girls, so when my son was born I was a little (or a lot) shocked. But we sure love him now! I love the not knowing!
My daughter has 4 sons. She kept trying for that ever-elusive girl after the first 2 boys. She found out the gender every time, but had a slight breakdown with the last 2. She wanted a girl so bad. She’s done now and we wouldn’t trade those 4 boys for anything.
My first daughter was an invitro so once she was a success we just HAD to know. We had to shop shop shop! Baby #2 and baby #3 we sucked it up and waited to find out. I liked it better that way.. When I was told that Baby #2 was a GIRL, I was like ‘Thank, God!’ When I was told Baby #3 was a Girl, I was like ‘Are you sure?’. Oh to be pregnant again.. not!
Yes, I would have had to know, too, in those circumstances. Some women loved being pregnant. I’m not one of them even though I love the end result.
Oh LOL.. I’m laughing because you took it way back to the “VHS” tape recording days.. Oh that was the truth LOL.. but I love honestly to know. But it really doesn’t matter to me if I knew before hand or not. I just love the fact that the technology is there to tell us. It makes it so fun LOL.
Not only was it on VHS, but I swear I still can’t tell what that “blob” the tech kept calling “the baby” is. We’ve come a long way, baby. 🙂
I think I would want to know. The suspense would just kill me over. I’ll probably decorate in soft grays (via all those gorgeous baby rooms on Pinterest). I hope that I can have twins; one boy, one girl and finished.
That’s the same thing one of my daughter’s says – she wants twins and get it over with. I love those soft grays. I decorated the nursery in a gender neutral decor so that it wouldn’t matter.
I’m so torn on this one! With my first I absolutely wanted to know and didn’t think twice about getting the gender. But, now that we’re starting to discuss getting pregnant with #2, I’m not sure what I want to do. I love the idea of surprises, and I think it would be so much fun, but I know it would drive my OCD-qualities crazy when trying to prepare! One of the things we did discuss was making it a surprise and doing two Amazon wish lists while pregnant- one for boy clothes and one for girls. That way, we could still be prepared and surprised, and with Prime, the items will probably get there before we do!
It’s a tough decision. I didn’t want to know, but I knew in my heart that I was having a girl and called her a girl the entire time I was pregnant. 🙂
I love gender reveal parties, which is a new trend in the last few years that isn’t going away! However, the planner in me wanted to know with both my girls so I could decorate their rooms and plan ahead. Either way it’s a blessing and a thrill!
The gender reveal parties began to look like reruns for a while, but I’ve seen some new ideas lately that are really cute. I’ve also seen a big upswing lately in young couples not wanting to know the gender until the birth. I guess it’s a personal thing. 🙂
Your husband is a rock for sticking to his promise. I would have probably caved 🙂 We wanted to know both times, but unfortunately, neither one would cooperate. My oldest wouldn’t keep still long enough for them to get a clear picture. Then for my second, she had her legs crossed. My husband and mom laugh to this day because I was shaking my belly trying to get her to move, but she wouldn’t budge (this was my 1st indication of her stubbornness..lol). So, we had to wait to find out what we were having. Both my girls get a kick out of the boy names we had picked for them.
Well first of all I am so glad it worked out for you. Secondly, we found the sex out both times. it’s just me trying to have contol in a situation where I could not choose. lol Looking back, I am glad I found out because it help me prepare but also I marvel at the folks that can wait. Such patience!
I have only had one child and decided not to find out the sex of my baby. My husband did but I knew he would slip and tell me. There are not many things you can be surprised about and this is one of them. Everyone was telling I was going to have a boy as boys run in my husbands family and the way I was carrying. I even had a friend buy a boy outfit. Well, I had a girl and it was a surprise I could not explain. I asked my husband over and over, a girl? We had a girl?? Would not change that decision ever.
I didn’t want to know in 1993 or in 2001 when I had my boys. It seemed like it took the fun out of it all. We just bought the most very basic things we needed, most of it second hand, and had my baby shower after the baby was born.
I also chose not to know. We did do the needle on thread with my first one – it said girl and it was right. Didn’t do anything to find out on #2 or #3. I always wanted girls and that’s what I got.
I can’t take surprises so I had to find out what I was having with each pregnancy. I don’t think I could take not knowing. I want to know what color to buy. However, my mom never knew what she was having. But she had us in the dark ages when everyone was surprised at birth.
I found out the sex of all four of my children before they were delivered. My last pregnancy with my daughter I had a dream about my father who passed away and he told me that I was having a girl. Behold I went to have a Ultrasound that next day and found out it was a girl. After having 3 sons, I was so happy.
I found out the gender when I was pregnant. I knew from the minute I found out I was pregnant that I was having a boy and that was confirmed for me. Me had a private gender scan and it was the most wonderful experience seeing our little baby growing inside me on a 3D scan. It made buying things so much easier. The minute his gender was confirmed everything was blue for our little prince.
Knowing makes it easier for gifting and decorating but NOT knowing is so much more fun!! Either way as long as they are healthy thats all we can ask for!
Knowing makes it easier for gifting and decorating but NOT knowing is so much more fun!! Either way as long as they are healthy thats all we can ask for!
So sweet! We are expecting for the first time in July and we’ve chosen not to know…I can’t wait for the surprise!!
I just HAD to know 🙂 I couldn’t stand the wait and did the drug store gender kid. For me, it was correct. And I was counting down until I could get an ultrasound that told the sex. 🙂
I wanted to know with my first baby and second – but our third one showed us what he had on the scan! Haha!
This was always a difficult topic for me. I wanted the suspense in waiting, but in the end had to find out.
I think finding out would make it so much easier to pan ahead. I had no idea there was a drugstore test now.
I would want to know the gender of my baby. I would want a headstart in buying outfits for the baby.
I would want to know the gender of my baby. I would want a headstart in buying outfits for the baby.
I always wanted to not know, but the suspense got to me in the end. Waiting until week 20 was quite enough drama for me. Both of mine are girls and I was shocked every time. But I didn’t really believe the ultrasound results. I had the midwife double check each time before handing me the baby. Ha.
I haven’t had any kids, but I often think about whether or not I’d want to reveal the gender. I think it would be a fun surprise, but my family thinks it’s cruel for those who want to buy you shower presents 🙂
I need to know so I can get the baby names right lol. I think I have one of each now so if I ever happen to get pregnant again (which probably won’t happen) I will be surprised this time.
With my first one, I definitely wanted the surprise! With my second one, I wanted to know so that I could be prepared.
We are such impatient people we would just have to find out the gender of our baby as soon as we could! It would be all too exciting to wait. Maybe after having a few kids I would wait and see 🙂
If I have a baby, I’d prefer to know the sex of the baby. Mostly because then I could have more fun buying all the clothes and everything else involved.
I am a control freak who needs to approve all surprises before they are executed. I can’t see myself being able to hold out on the gender of my child. Maybe a gender reveal party where a parent or friend knew and it was revealed to the rest of us at the baby shower. Hmmm I probably wouldn’t be able to wait that long. Plus, I’m pretty good at detecting gender via ultrasound at this point.
Yes, we found out with all three of ours, but if we have any more, I don’ t think I want to know. Just because I want to see what it’s like to not know (and to see if I can wait that long) lol. My husband on the other hand, he always wants to know. I worry that he’ll spill the beans if he finds out before me. Oh well, we’ll see what happens if we have another one.
I like to know because I just love to prepare and decorate for the new ones. I know some people who wait until the baby is born. I even know some who were expecting a boy/girl and the gender turned out different that what was told. Or expecting one kid and on the day of delivery, had twins!
I bet those twins were a BIG surprise! 🙂
With the first two I did not want to know. With the third I did. I just think that you want a surprise at the end of all that work. No biggie either way. Just what you are comfortable with.
We totally found out our daughter’s gender while I was pregnant! I just couldn’t wait!
hmm.. I found this very interesting – drug stores selling baby gender prediction kit! It has to be unpredictable! I found out the gender for both my pregnancies.. could not wait!
We did find out just because my husband wanted too. We did have a deal though on the 2nd one it would be a surprise, but unfortunately I never had a 2nd child. I know planning can be better if you know, but I would love that element of surprise.
Goodness, I’m glad everything worked out in the end with your delivery! I will find out. I’m too OCD not to LOL Thanks so much for joining us at the #HomeMattersParty – we hope to see you again next week!
I have always found out before because there is so much planning and decorating to do not to mention buying clothes I just need to know so I am prepared 🙂
I completely understand the reasoning behind that. If I had to do it over (thank God I don’t) I probably would find out.
The BIG question 🙂
We don’t have kids yet, but both of us (my husband and I) don’t want to know once we expect
I did like being surprised with all of mine! 🙂
Hi there. I found your web site by means of Google even as looking for a comparable matter, your web site came up. It appears to be great. I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to come back then.
Awesome write-up. I am a regular visitor of your website and appreciate you taking the time to maintain the nice site. I’ll be a regular visitor for a really long time.
I don’t even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was good. I don’t know who you are but definitely you are going to a famous blogger if you are not already 😉 Cheers!
I regard something really interesting about your web site so I saved to fav.